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I walk into my house to see post on the door mat. Just another reminder that Ben isn’t there. Further in there’s coats, clothes, more post and craft equipment strewn across the arm chair. I’d be in trouble for that. Ben’s gone snowboarding for a mate’s stag do. It was nice having him gone at first, now I’ve descended into a miserable, untidy heap of apathy.

The kitchen is no better, half empty plates of left overs, washing up that needs to be done and crumbs. So many crumbs. I know I need to wash up and make this place look presentable, if not for myself them for Ben who gets back in a few days. It’ll do it tomorrow.

This is me, back from my 9-5 day job only to stress about tidying up – I know it’d be easier if I just did it – and to have to get on with the mounds of freelance work I’ve given myself.

At first it was simple, day job, write some novel, promote a fashion site. Easy.

Now it’s: Write some novel, reply to roleplays, tidy up, promote fashion site, write two articles.

The articles are interesting to write and I get paid a lot for them but sitting at my laptop I can’t bring myself to write. Every piece of creativity seems to be sucked out of my life. I know it is because I’m feeling lonely and the house is a mess yet I can’t bring myself to tidy.

On Saturday with the impending return of Ben I’ll get my arse into gear. I’ll be able to tidy up and then I’ll be able to write. I just wonder what my life would be like without him. I’d live in squalor never being able to get anything done.

He is my muse.

I’ve honestly had the most amazing four days and this jolt back into the reality that is work has been quite frightening (I blame getting to bed at 3:30am for the last few nights.)

We decided to take my hound for a walk, in Bacton woods. It was sunny, dry and beautiful. The dog, as always decided it would be appropriate to wade through every muddy puddle. She also seemed a little bemused that Lucie and I were stopping every five minutes to take photos of one another pulling strange faces and acting out scenes which the other would narrate.

I believe there were zombies, vampires and many a clue for Detective Holmes… Oh, and the TARDIS.

We spent our evenings watching Being Human, Flash Forward and Watchmen. While writing, ranting wiggling and snuggling.

Yesterday we headed out into the wood at Mousehold for some photography. Armed with dolls, clothes, tripod and remote we got some pretty fabulous pictures.

Fingerless gloves and denim shirt. Yes please.

Please note my vintage cowboy boots and Lucie’s steampunk shoes.

She gives me boob envy…

This jacket is Lucie’s but we swapped for a short time. It was in the sale in New Look. I picked it up to show her, she bought it. Wish I had. Damn.

This makes me appear as if I’m taller than my 6 foot 2 friend. I’m not. I just have long arms. I was in this picture but I cropped it because I felt I ruined it.

All in all a successful trip. Now I just need to work out how the hell I’m going to get through until Saturday feeling slightly ill and seriously tired.

<3

of going back to black. Well, I went back to black and the dye got forgotten about. Does dye go off? This stuff is about six months to a year old…

Today I’ve put some on my fading hair. It is supposed to lighten and colour all at the same time. It’s not all over just in randomly picked spaces on my head. It’s going to look silly, at least it would on anyone else. I’m known for having somewhat crazy coloured hair. I was called bagpuss in highschool because my hair was pink and white blonde.

It says to leave this stuff on for 30 mins. It’s been 25 and Tesco are coming in ten mins. I seriously will not hear them if I am washing dye out at the time they happen to knock.

I’m going to leave it on until I decide I can see some sort of change. Might be unwise but my hair is hardy (although my scalp less so.)

Don’t try this at home, kids. I’d definitely say always get your hair done in a salon. Although salons don’t seem to appreciate that I can pull off the wildest of styles. And getting my hair dyed in a salon reminds me of my parents splitting up…

So, as soon as I wash this out (get dressed and put some makeup on) I’ll post with the results. Wish me luck!

I’ve been stuck at this plateau for a while now. 15 and a half stone. Urgh. I hate typing it. I haven’t been eating well, I’ve been eating chocolate and all manner of organic – but fattening – foods from the Back to the Garden farmshop.

But it seems the running has been paying off. I seriously feel thinner, for the first time since I started this in April 2009. My measurements are also down an inch or two all round. Definitely worth the pain in my ankles and shins from running around the city!

Tomorrow I’m going to do roughly two miles running around an area that is very hilly. I did it in 33 minutes last time I did it and I hope to get it down to 30 minutes this time. I love having goals.

I’m going to eat way too much over the weekend. *sigh*

As for fashion I’m going to be taking a lot of pictures with my darling Lucie of us dressing up in all sorts of things. Expect a lot of rather strange and brilliant outfits. We are the band FckButtons and we are trend setters.

I want to take requests for what you want to see us dress up as (my wardrobe is practically a dressing up box…) jess@feelingstylish.co.uk

Asos laundered jumper – £40

(Firstly, this model is hot!) I love this jumper, slightly too long sleeve on guys makes me wibble a bit. It’s cute. A jumper like this is perfect when it is too cold to go out in a t-shirt but too hot to wear a coat. Super cute and very sexy.

Junk De Luxe all over crown hood basic – £70

Tight fitting hoodie. Very nice. Hoods are important. Especially here in England, springtime equals a lot of rain. Infact just England in general equals a lot of rain.

55DSL T Seconds T-shirt – £27

Bright, bold, beautiful.

G-Start Atam Cardigan – £59.99

This is less of a cardigan but more of a jacket. It’s lovely. The sleeves get me excited.

Ultravox Polo t-shirt – £16.99

General polo neck t-shirt. The flash of green will add some colour to your wardrobe as spring rolls in.

Soul Cal Coltrane Check Shirt – £24.99

The purple in this is very close to pink but not enough to worry some of you who are worried about looking more effeminate than you are. You know what, even if it is too pink, get over it. This shirt is beautiful.

Crafted bootcut jeans – £34.99

A smart jean is great for the pub, nights out and shopping. Boots cut ones are perfect for cowboy boots so you can have girls like me falling at your feet…

A lot of my job entails trawling through home interest magazines. I love doing it but I find it really hard not to read every bloody article. I thought I’d put together a little list of things that I can’t afford (yet) but desperately want.

Beatrice bed from the Wrought Iron and Brass Bed Company. A super king 6″0 bed is £874

These beds and made in Norfolk. Supporting local business and all, I believe I should get one.

Wesley-Barrell Oxford Modular sofa – From £3910

Free standing Sartene bath from Albion Bath Co

Belgravia Bookcase from Velvet – £295

Danya Jacket – £25

Lexington Check Overshirt – £15

Gracie Jersey Cardi – £16

Natanya Knit – £18


Emily Print Skirt – £18